The Party That Never Quits

It's Australia day tomorrow in an hour, and it's our kids favourite holiday next to Christmas. They've been asking for a week and a half how many sleeps it is until "Straya day" (oh yes, I raise my kids right; Bogan.) and are totally off the wall that it's only tonight.

Yesterday Amy was sitting in the couch 'reading' one of Troy's "Wimpy Kid" books and singing to herself. I figured out she was singing the national anthem, her favourite song this week. (Other than a praise song she's made up all her own that went something like "God is so big and God is awesome and up in the sky".) I managed to catch a couple of minutes of it before she noticed me :)

Which would have been awesome to post, however after trying all possible avenues, I failed
:( Not having WiFi at the moment sucks majorly.

We are going to a friends house to have a bbq, which is sure to be a fantastic time. We've been looking forward to it for a fortnight, and it's been ridiculous how giddy we have been planning it all. Hopefully the weather will hold off; it's been rather wet and windy for the last two days, thanks to the monsoon trough passing over the top of us. And what is Australia day without cricket??

You'll have to forgive me my using the lyrics of David Crowder Band's "Never Let Go" as my titles the last two days. The words have taken on a whole brand new meaning for me in the wake of the floods.

Yesterday, I posted some comparative pictures of Australia over the United States and Europe.

And, since the rain hasn't stopped, and I had missed a few places of floods, I have updated them. It'll probably be redundant this time tomorrow.

Using the Bureau of Meteorology's rainfall and rivers information, I hope to have a made a more accurate (albeit rough) indication of the gravity of the catastrophe.


This is Ipswitch... this is where my cousin and his family live. Thankfully, they are safe and well.


This link will take you to a slide-show of pictures sent in

It's almost too terrible to be true.

Except it is.

And it's only going to get worse.

That is the second stanza from Dorothea MacKellars famous poem "My Country". It is, quite easily, one of the most known four lines in our country, perhaps second only to the opening lines of "The Man From Snowy River"

The vast majority of Australia has been in the midst of drought for many, many years and on very strict water restrictions.

In March last year, some good rains came.

It was wonderful, and we rejoiced.

In December, it rained some more. The catchments were full. We were delighted!

But this time, the rain didn't stop.

It's been raining in Queensland continuously for about a month. At the moment, there are recordings of 4" per hour.

The parched ground hasn't been able to absorb the rain quickly enough, and the south east of Queensland, an area the size of France and Germany combined, is now under water.

Last night, Toowoomba, a town with no river, was hit with an "inland tsunami"





8 people died. Including a woman and her child, who couldn't get out of their car before it was swept away.

In total, 15 people are dead (as at Jan 10), and there are 72 people missing in Queensland.

The floods began in Rockhampton, and have since claimed 22 towns (at last count) and affected approximately 20 thousand people. The damage is reported to be in the AUbillions. 3 hundred roads have been closed, including 9 major highways.

Brisbane (state capital) and surrounding areas have started to be evacuated.

To give you an idea just how catastrophic these floods are, I found a couple of inset maps and then I drew on them*...

It really is horrific.

Please pray for our country.

1. Down South, you spend 5 minutes waiting for the hot water tap to heat up. Up North, you wait 5 minutes waiting for the cold water to cool down.

2. Down South, people have a real problem with being bare foot in public. Up North, most kids don't know how to put their socks on right.

3. Down South, people get dressed up to go to the mall. Up North, you're lucky if they put a shirt on over their swimsuit.

4. Down South, they put their heaters on 18°C to warm up. Up North, air conditioners are on 18°C to cool down.

5. Down South, if you get caught in the rain on the street, you run for cover. Up North, you just keep on walking.

6. Down South 25°C requires an air conditioner. Up North, if it's that cold, you half expect snow.

7. Up North, it's no big deal if you wear thongs (flip flops) to church. Down South, the very idea is horrific.

8. Up North, we go to the shopping centre for the air conditioner. Down South, you guessed it, they go for the heater.

9. Up North, we think nothing of driving an hour and a half (or even more) for a day trip. Down South, that takes 3 weeks planning and requires frequent rest stops.

10. Up North, when the rain comes, children beg to be let out to play. Down South, they scamper back inside.

11. Up North, everything is left in the fridge until the very moment you need it. Down South, you can leave the butter out for 3 hours and it's still too hard to spread.

12. Up North, you keep medicines and creams in the fridge, not only because it's the only place "below 30°C" but because it's so wonderful and cool when you use it. Down South, that just sounds pervy.

Australian Citizenship Test

The Australian citizenship test has been designed to assist people who want to become Australian citizens gain an understanding of Australia’s values, traditions, history and national symbols.

The test is an important part of ensuring that migrants have the capacity to fully participate in the Australian community as citizens and maximise the opportunities available to them in Australia. It will promote social cohesion and successful integration into the community.


Test Rules

There are some basic rules which you must follow during the test:

- Test is timed - You will be allowed 45 minutes to complete the test (or 90 minutes in the case of an assisted test). No additional time will be made available.

- This is a closed book test - You must not bring any test resource material into the testing centre (this includes note paper, the Becoming an Australian Citizen resource book, study notes, etc).

- Personal belongings may be taken into the test site however these must be stored under the desk for the duration of the test. Mobile phone sand all other electronic /communicationgaming equipment should be switched off while you are within the test centre.


If you do not follow these rules, you may be asked to leave the test centre and may have to sit the test again.

Test Questions


You may begin writing only once you are advised to do so by the test supervisor.

(1) Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin, of the term “died in the arse”? Explain the meaning:
____________________________________________________________
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(2) What is a “bloody little beauty”?
____________________________________________________________
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(3) Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey? Yes / No

(4) Explain the following passage:

In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a Barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a Barney and a bit of biffo.
___________________________________________________________
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(5) Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and taking a slash?
___________________________________________________________

(6) Complete the following sentences:

(a) If the van's rockin' don't bother _____________________________
(b) You're going home in the back of a ___________________________
(c) Fair crack of the ________________________________________

(7) I've had a gutful and I can't be farked. Discuss
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________

(8) Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie? Yes / No

(9) Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard "up on blocks"? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl? Yes / No

(10) Do you or your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or Kai see Ming? Yes / No

(11) What are the ingredients in a rissole?
__________________________________________________________

(12) Describe the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
__________________________________________________________
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(13) Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke? Yes / No

(14) In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice? Yes / No

(15) When you go to a bring-your-own-meat Barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
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(16) What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
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(17) Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots? Yes / No

(18) Is it possible to prang a car while doing circle work? Yes / No

(19) Who would you like to crack on to?
___________________________________________________________

(20) Who is the most Australian (pick one answer):

(a) Kevin "Bloody" Wilson
(b) John "True Blue" Williamson
(c) Kylie Minogue
(d) Warnie


(21) Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool? Yes / No

(22) What do the phrases “sinkin piss at a mates joint” and “gettin paraletic” mean?
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________

Please submit this paper back to the test supervisor when you have had a fair crack.







**This was an email sent through to me. I do not know its source.**

I was watching this hillariousness, and it struck me that there are lots of words that we Australians pronounce 'funny' to Americans.

Like, for example, daughter. We say Daw-da. You say Dah-ter

Or, route. We say root, you say r-ow-t.

We call ourselves Ozzies... you mispronounce it Ossies

We Aussies speak in "text" as one of my favourite comedians puts it. A service station is a "servo", car registration is "rego", a barbeque is a "barbie" and so on and so forth.

A few people have asked for a video of me (and Adam) talking. We're working on it. For some reason, our computer has dumped the web-cam, so we have to get a camcorder and a tripod.

Good thing tax time is only a couple of months away.

But we will, I promise.

So... what would you like to hear us say? What about us would you like to know? It could be anything funny, real, stupid, serious, whatever... I'll write it all down and we'll discuss it all for your viewing pleasure and, I'm sure, amusement.

We'll attempt to deliver.

We're really silly though.

Consider youreslves forewarned.