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  1. 1 December: Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray-paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas cards.
    2 December: Contact local choir to record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine
    3 Decmeber: Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling with macha trim
    4 December: Get new eyeglasses. Grind lens self
    5 December: Fax family Christams newsletter to Pulitzer committee for consideration
    6 December: Debug Windows '95
    9 December: Align carpets to adjust for curvature of Earth
    11 December: Lay Faberg`e egg
    12 December: Take dog apart. Disinfect. Reassemble
    13 December: Collect dentures. They make excelent pastry cutters, particularly for decorative piecrusts.
    14 December: Install plumbing in gingerbread house
    15 December: Adjust legs of chairs so all Christmas dinner guests are the same hight when sitting down
    16 December: Dip sheep and cows in egg whites and roll in icing sugar to add a festive sparkle to the pasture
    17 December: Drain city resevoir; refill with mulled cider, orange slices and cinnamon sticks
    18 December: Float votive candles in toilet tank
    20 December: Seed clouds for white Christmas
    21 December: Do festive good deed. Go to several stores. Be seen engaged in last-minute Christmas shopping, thus making people feel less inadequite than they really are
    23 December: Organise spice racks by genus and phylum
    24 December: Build snowman in exact likeness of God
    25 December: Bear son. Swaddle. Lay in colour-coordinated manger scented with homemade potpurri
    New Years Eve: Give staff their resolutions. Call a friend in each time zone of the world as the clock strikes midnight in that country.
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    Thanks for chiming in :)

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