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  1. FOUR

    Thursday, 1 July 2010

    Today, my Amy turned 4.


    She was so sweet... didn't ask for gifts till we gave them, even though they were in plain sight. She's like that.

    When we did give them, it was all delighted shrieks "Are they for me?! OH, THANKOM, Mummy!!"

    I stayed up until 2am this morning, looking through her photos.


    I remembered that I had posted her birthstory out on my Xanga, so, incase you are inclined that way, here it is... more for me than for anything.

    Trust me. Fast births are NO fun.

    As one midwife put it, it's 12 hours of labour real quick... so it's actually quite shocking.


    Frighteing, even.

    With Troy, I laboured 10 hours, (in established labour... I had about 7 of "is this really it?") and as it slowly got more and more painful, you are able to go with the flow and adapt to the way things change and listen to your body. And have time to call for drugs. The twins were induced, took 4 hours from go to whoa, but I was that stoned on gas and I had an epidural that took the edge off, but didn't completley numb, so I can't really say it was a natural experience.

    Short labours, you don't have time to breathe. And listening to your body?


    It tells you to shut the hell up, it's working here.

    Just so you know, there will be somewhat explicit details. Like poo and stuff. Read at your own discression...

    As an aside, we were worried that mum would miss the birth. She was galavanting over Turkey at the time, and Amy was due two days before she was to arrive home. Thankfully, Amy went five days over... not that it mattered in the end, as you'll see.

    July 1, 2006

    5:30am Woke to go to the toilet, only to notice slight dampness prior to arising. (NB: my waters had never broken by themselves, so this was an entirely new thing for me)
    5:35 am Called midwives to see what I should do. They said to wait. Funny that, I hadn't even started to contract yet.
    6:00am Contraction #1. It's strong enough for me to know what it was.
    6:10 am thru Noon Contractions remain at every ten minutes. They get stronger, but not closer together. This is irritating.
    12:30pm My sister takes me to the shopping centre to walk around, and see if that works. It does not. Contractions to the point where I have to stop walking. Still only 10 minutes apart.
    4:30pm Crack the shits, and call my friend who has castor oil.
    5:30pm Take castor oil. My years of heavy drinking comes into play with the ability to shoot castor oil and imediately chase it down with strong lime cordial. Castor oil tastes terrible. It feels even worse.
    6:15pm Head home after lounging around at Sheryn's for a while. Contractions remain at 10 minute intervals, still strong. I now have to stop talking through them. (Note for those who've not had children... if you are more than every three minutes apart, the midwives don't want to know you. You could have days to go. You will be sent home from the hospital if you show up.)
    6:30pm Got into a bath
    7:00pm Massive contraction. It got my attention.
    7:05pm Another one. Okaaaay....
    7:08pm Another one. Inform Adam we need to go. Now.
    7:09pm Adam calls mum to come get me and take me to the hospital, as he now has to go back to Sheryn's to drop the kids off.
    7:15pm Mum arrives at my place. Contractions have stayed at 3 minutes, which gives me the green light to go to hospital without the threat of being sent home.
    7:30pm Leave for hospital. The last 15 minutes have been taken up with getting the kids ready, and last minute packing for me.
    7:50pm Arrive at hospital. Take ten minutes to walk from car park to the lifts and take lifts up. We were parked all of about 50 metres from the front door. I had to stop twice. And walking hurts by this point.
    8:00pm Get to maternity, hop (figuratively) onto the bed.
    8:10pm My sister arrives.
    8:15pm Inernal. 5cm. Not bad.
    8:20pm Attempt to walk the corridor. With one contraction, the body is confused, and does not know if it wants to stop, stand, squat, bend over.... you get the picture. I must have looked interesting... a pregnant woman doing pliƩs.
    8:30pm Adam arrives at hospital. I'm back in the room, and the castor oil kicks in. I need to get to the loo. Just so you know, contracting and needing to defecate at the same time is really painful. You absolutely cannot do both at the same time.
    8:40pm My body still has no idea how to get comfortable through contractions (which are smarting a wee tad) and my sister suggest the birth ball, so we give it a go. Meh. couldn't really care one way or the other. I ask for gas. It makes things more manageable.
    8:45pm Mum and sister ask the midwife if they have time to go for a smoke. She waves them away, stating heaps of time.
    8:47pm Adam reminds me not to wait too long for an epidural if I want one. And we wait out a couple more.
    8:50pm Suddenly, my contractions don't even bother waiting in turn, like good, polite, well brought up contractions. I'm getting them on top of each other, a new one starting before the last one finishes. Needless to say, this freaks me out. Adam calls for the midwife. I call for drugs. The midwife informs Adam there is no time. I don't even think there was enough time for Adam to pass on this information, because I don't remember hearing it. Thus, I have entered established labour and transition simultaneously.
    8:57pm My waters break. I state the obvious fact, as Adam and the midwife use blankets to mop it up. Adam starts to get worried here, as we have always had a doctor (or five) present with our babies. And this time there's just a midwife. Adam is not sure she'll be able to do it on her own.
    8:59pm I feel Amy crown. She is arriving. Posthaste. I still have my knickers on and panic that she will be born in my underwear. Adam and the midwife frantically remove them. At this point, I'm near in hysterics, but too freaked out to actually physically display this, because I'm not even on the bed, nor have I had drugs. Somehow, I've gone from being on the ball to laying face down over the bed, sort of standing, sort of kneeling, screaming (but not really, if you know what I mean. You know that weird noise you make, ladies? Not screaming, but you aren't humming a tune, either. Sort of like a cross between a groan and a scream through gritted teeth) into the mattress.
    9:02pm Amy is born. I did not push once. The midwife only just manages to catch her.

    Then, basically, my body said to itself "what a totally shocking thing to have happen" and went into shock. It took me a full fourty five minutes to get onto the bed. I simply could not move. Apparently, I couldn't hold my head up, either, because mum had to do it for me. They had to wait to deliver the placenta and everything, because I simply did not have the strength. And then, when I did deliver it, It was like giving birth again... the thing was HUGE!! I actually asked if there was another baby in it. So yeah... I was kind of out of it for the next couple of hours, I got to my room on the ward at about 12, I think, maybe one.

    Mum and Jess actually missed the birth. At about 10 past nine, Adam rings mum's mobile and asks "Are you coming back any time soon?" Mum replied she was in the lift on her way back up. Why? "Because you've missed it" Adam replies. I heard the shrieked "WHAT?!" from where I was. There simply was no time to call her. I remember vaguely thinking about her at one point, but my brain couldn't get that thought from my head to my mouth. It was somewhat obsessed with what was going on at the other end of the torso.

    So, that's the story of "Bullet" as she was proptly nicknamed by my sister. There are other, less interesting details, like how the midwife tried to shove the baby up the gown for me to hold her against my skin, but I was too out of it already, couldn't move my arms etc... couldn't link two coherant thoughts together except "What the hell is this woman doing?"... how my brother arrived straight after work, still in his chefs jacket, and was absolutely besotted with her, and how my other brother showed up with the most impressive black eye I have ever seen in my life... and how we didn't hear this girl cry for four days. Not one peep.




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  2. 1 comments:

    1. Prudy said...

      She is adorable. You had me laughing throughout.

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