The Party That Never Quits

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,

and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:

I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving
but this, in which there is no I or you,

so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

Happy 8th Wedding anniversary, my love.

You're still the only one that feels like home.

The things I love about Troy are...



1. He is my first born
2. He is my eldest son
3. He is so tender hearted
4. He is brave
5. He is tenacious
6. He is amazingly good at sports
7. He is a huge help to me
8. His blue, blue eyes
9. His developing sense of humour
10. How excited he was we were expecting baby number 6
11. He changes nappies... number ones AND number twos
12. He makes breakfast for the kids most mornings
13. How hard he tries
14. His cool sense of style
15. The way he still wants to kiss me in public, even though he's 9
16. How much he's taught me about patience
17. That he doesn't hold it against me when I fail
18. He fetches and carries with little complaining
19. He'll eat pretty much anything
20. He loves to sing
21. He loves to tinker on the piano
22. He adores his dad
23. He is incredibly loving
24. He doesn't like swearing
25. He loves to read
26. He loves to draw
27. He loves to write
28. He loves to pray
29. That he copes so well without a defined routine at home
30. He's loyal
31. He loves his daddy's football team
32. He's a stickler for rules
33. He is exceptionally good at maths
34. The way he just wants to "be with" me sometimes
35. He LOVES Hillsong ;)
36. He loves to help out at church
37. How chuffed he was that he is officially on the "collecting the tithe" roster
38. He'll give anything a go
39. How he refuses to be defined by his autism
40. That he never gave up at school... he just kept slogging on through till he got it
41. He loves the water
42. He asks permission most of the time
43. He's just a really good looking kid!
44. He has incredibly thick hair
45. He'll probably be taller than Adam when he's fully grown
46. His cute way of phrasing things
47. How he reads to the younger kids
48. He loves animals
49. He is always eager to please
50. He prays for his future wife
51. His concern about Adam's weight
52. He makes his own bed
53. He can do laundry
54. He washes dishes
55. He kisses my hand
56. How he sees things in the clouds
57. He loves to play in the rain
58. He's certainly not afraid of a little dirt
59. He's an awesome big brother
60. He loves to dance
61. He still calls me "mummy"
62. He got all miffy because I decorated the girls room and not the boys
63. He'd much rather sleep in a hammock than a bed
64. He loves word-searches
65. He can play any computer game
66. He can bleed heaps and be fine
67. But the minute he sees someone else bleed, he gets woozy
68. Spiders freak him out a little
69. He worries when I'm hurt
70. He looks super cute in his glasses
71. He doesn't even bother to ask to watch a movie outside of the two ratings he's allowed
72. He thinks my spaghetti bolognaise is the best in the world
73. He likes tuna
74. He makes those little chatterbox paper toys all. the. time
75. He drew a picture of my pregnant sister once, and it was adorable
76. And he called her Aunty Bump for a while
77. He puts the Smallies into their car seats for me
78. He's fascinated by gadgets
79. He wants to be a doctor
80. No... a teacher ;)
81. He loves classical music
82. He wants to give ballet a go
83. Once he's focused, that's it
84. He's got a great arm on him
85. He's a one on one type of kid
86. He's learning how to deal with frustration
87. He can build pretty much anything with Lego
88. He loves spending time with his dad
89. He'd cook more if I let him
90. He'll climb anything
91. He'll jump off anything
92. He loves cushions
93. He'll do pretty much any job for money
94. The way he used to run looking at his shadow
95. The way he endears himself to everyone
96. His high pain threshold
97. The way he doesn't care what people think about him
98. The way he loves to read the Bible
99. He always says "thank you for dinner, that was yummy!"
100. The precious way he knows God.

You may see over there on the left under the picture of Adam, there is a list of numbered links.

2 years ago, I embarked on a little endeavour I entitled "A Thousand Times, I Love You".

It started out innocently enough. For Valentines day, I wrote a list of 100 things I loved about Adam. He was so chuffed about it, that I decided to do it again. And from there, it morphed. I figured out that if I wrote 100 things every month until his 30th birthday, I would reach 1,000 individual things.

It was THE best year of our marriage to date.

Amazing what a little positive thinking will do.

I've started making Adam a book of his, using blurb.com, but then my scanner died, and I couldn't save any more photos, then our computer crashed... blah blah blah. Needless to say, it still sits there forlornly, waiting my attention.

I want very much to re post the lists here on blogger, but for some reason, it won't let me copy/paste. So for now, you can read them if you click the links.

Anyway, all this to say that, as you may or may not have gathered, I've struggled with liking my kids the last year or two. The three eldest all have learning delays, and all our frustration levels have peaked. Moving into a house half the size we were in with zero back yard has worn all of our nerves to threads.

I'm thinking I need to think positively about my kids for a while. I'm going to post a list of 100 individual things I love about each child once a month on Mondays and Fridays, just to fit them all in.

Of course, today is a Monday, so I might start tomorrow ;)

All I'm going to need for this project, is a notebook and a pen. New thoughts always struck me about Adam when I was driving, or otherwise occupied.

I have learned.

And you never know. My redirected attitude and focus might just be the making of them.

Or me.